Therapy Session

Warning – This blog post is a form of therapy for me at the current moment, so I apologize ahead of time if it's hard to follow as it most likely will be a complete run-on sentence of my thoughts pouring out of my brain onto the screen. (This blog was written over the course of a few weeks so it's a bit all over the place)

I've recently hit a significant road block in my time in Korea. I've still been struggling with the personal aspect of being here, feeling lonely, missing home, etc. To further add to the struggle, I now am dealing with issues at work. Disclaimer – I was fully aware of the risk I took coming here and working in a private school (hagwon in Korean). There are multiple horror stories of foreigners working in hagwons that include not getting paid, terrible bosses, companies going out of business mid-contract, etc. My experience isn't at the top of the outrageously terrible list, but it's definitely something that holds merit in my heart and has made me question being here.

Some information you need to know ahead of time:

1. Teaching contracts in Korea are always one year in length
2. The school year is March to March here
3. Korean parents are crazy about their childrens' education and will go to great lengths to ensure they receive the best

Basically to hopefully shorten a lengthy story, a business woman, let's just call her Cruella DeVille for the remainder of this post, bought into the company I work for and is now the most prominent board member. Therefore, she has decided to come in and take a look around and decide what, if anything, needs to be 'fixed' or 'cleaned up'. Cruella and the CEO of the company met with all the remaining teachers that have contracts ending this year. They basically made us feel like we suck at our jobs and that we don't matter at the school. They then proceeded to give us an ultimatum to either sign an extended contract through March 2013 or there was the possibility we would get fired. They then rewrote our original contracts (which is illegal) and told us we either need to sign the extended contract or the revised original contract. There was a lot of back and forth meetings that never led to anything and also a lot of 'he said she said' BS. Koreans are very passive about confrontations and they are never direct with how they speak to you or handle situations. The principal at my school has no clue how to manage people or talk to people. Every time I met with him on this situation he wouldn't look me in the eye, he would mumble and spend most of the time silent. The last straw for me was during a meeting with the principal and he basically called me a liar and yeah you can all imagine the rage inside me at this point. At this point the school is seriously falling a part. Multiple Korean staff are leaving in March at the end of the school year because they are treated poorly by the principal and overworked by the CEO. It's just a really toxic environment and no one enjoys being at work.

I have a huge decision to make, because part of me just wants to come home and be done with this place. The other part of me says I should just suck it up and finish my contract.

Things I've learned:

1. No matter what I do in my life I always want to be close to my friends and family and the people that really matter most in my life. It's not easy when I want to talk to my best friend, but I can't just call her because it's actually 2am where she lives.
2. Life is too short!! This is a cliché statement, but I think I've finally understood the weight of this saying and how true it is.
3. I'm not getting any younger.
4. I'm currently going through a mid-twenties life crisis. It's stressful, annoying, painful, etc. However, it is exciting, because I kind of live in this world of unknown as I have no idea what I will do here in Korea, I don't know what I will do when I come home and I don't know what the future has in store for me. I don't ever want to settle in my life and I really hold that at high value.
5. Lists are helpful.
6. I will make traveling a main priority for the rest of my life. I think it really is important to get out and see the world, whether for a short or long time. No matter what it will always have an impact on you and change you in some way.
7. Change is good. Change is hard. Change is amazingly difficult and amazingly awesome.

Decision Time – I've decided to come home. After a lot of deliberation I've concluded it's the best decision for myself and the school if I just cut ties and leave in peace. I gave a 30 day notice the other week and my final day will be March 9^th. After I decided to do some traveling so I've booked a flight from Seoul to Rome and am going to wander the streets of Italy and Paris for two weeks before officially touching down in Portland. I figured I could eat my weight in gelato, be in a beautiful place, fulfill a life long dream to go to Europe and clear my head of any negative thoughts of this Korea experience before coming back to reality and putting my life back together.

Will I regret leaving Korea early? I'm not sure. I'm not sure I will know until I come home. I think part of me will feel defeated as I didn't complete something I said I would do. However, like I've said before, I refuse to settle and life is too short to be unhappy. Yes I went against my word so to speak (from signing the contract), but I followed my instinct and made the decision that made me happy.

Here comes the bride....Korean wedding!

I attended my first Korean wedding this past Saturday and it was definitely an experience. It was the wedding of my Korean co-worker Denise. Her and her fiance (now husband) have been together for over 10 years. All of the foreigners at my school were invited and luckily the school provided us a shuttle bus to take us and some other Korean staff to the wedding as we had no clue where it was. The wedding started at 12:30 so we all met up around 11am to get on the bus. I wasn't quite sure what to wear to the wedding and I was told two different things. One of my co-workers who has been to several Korean weddings told me that you can dress casual and it doesn't really matter. Someone else told me that you should dress pretty nice. So I went with black slacks and a nice top. I really don't have a lot of nice things with me in Korea as the whole point of coming here was to be able to wear jeans and t-shirts and Toms all day everyday!

Anyway, we arrived at the wedding hall which is exactly that. It's a giant building with multiple floors with multiple weddings happening all day. There was a sign up that listed out all the weddings and they were all 2 hours a part. Koreans are all business all the time.

For Korean wedding gifts all you give is money. They had special envelopes already there for you to put the money in and write your name and special note on the side. Apparently you can only give odd amounts starting at 30,000won up to however much you want to give, because even amounts are consider superstitious. You give an amount of money based on how close you are to the couple. Therefore, my cheapbutt only gave 30,000won which was the consensus among all the foreign staff so I didn't feel too bad.

The wedding ceremony only lasted about 30 minutes. It was pretty quick and to the point. We all sang a song (well I didn't because it was in Korean, I just mumbled sounds) and the priest read from the Bible. Then the bride and groom read their 'vows'. This part was somewhat disturbing to me because it felt very stiff and not loving, but I think it's just how things are done in Korea. The bride and groom each held up a piece of paper for each other to read off of and they both spoke in such a monotone fashion that it felt like you were at a military event or something like it. Then there was a Korean singer who sang the 'first dance' song minus the dancing. The bride and groom both turned and faced the singer and stood completely still during the entire song. Then it was over.

Millions of photos were taken after the ceremony as well as during. There was constantly a 'helper' woman following the bride around and fixing her veil, her dress, her hair, etc. Every photo was so staged. They don't like candid photos apparently. Also instead of throwing the bouquet to all the unmarried women at the event, the bride picks one woman who is next in line to get married and they stage a photo of the bride 'throwing' the bouquet to her. There's also superstition around this that if you are the woman picked you have to get married in 6 months or else you will have bad luck and won't get married for 6 years. Koreans are superstitious about many many things.

Food time! We were all super excited about the buffet because we were absolutely starving at this point. So after taking a million pictures we were shuffled outside to walk a few blocks to another building. This building was a giant dining hall where we would be eating. We entered the building and proceeded down the escalator to the 'dining hall'. Wow. I had never seen anything like it. It was a giant cafeteria hall crowded with hundreds of Koreans all fighting for seats and food in the buffet lines. Basically this is typical of Korean weddings. All of the weddings during the day gather in this dining hall and eat the buffet food. It was delicious food, don't get me wrong, just once again no intimate feeling or anything. I felt like we were just sheep in the herd and we were just moving through, eating, and heading out. After we had almost finished eating we spotted the bride and groom. They had changed into normal clothes and were wandering around trying to find people from their wedding. It was almost comical, because the place was just packed of people. We finished eating and that was that. Back on the bus, back to our town. Done and done. Happily Married :)

The beautiful Mia.  She had her guitar, because she had to go sing at another Korean wedding later that day. 

Foreigner co-workers.  Andy, Kelly, Courtney and Emily :)

This was an area set up before the wedding.  The bride and groom were taking pictures with everyone.  So the bride and groom had already seen each other before the wedding ceremony... :(

The mothers of the bride and groom were dressed in traditional Hanbok which is the traditional Korean dress.  It's always brightly colored and looks slightly uncomfortable.

This was the wedding program handed out to everyone.  Couldn't read any of it, but it looked nice.



The row of Ajammas....aka fierce older Korean women with high perms, fur coats, and sharp elbows for pushing you out of the way.



Inside the wedding hall. The priest.

The beautiful bride Denise walking down the isle!

Here they are reading their 'vows'.

Here they are standing and watching as the singer sings their 'first dance' song.

Here is the singer.  Slightly awkward to have everyone just standing and staring at you.

Many pictures with family, friends, etc. were taken after the ceremony.

This was the only picture I got of the 'dining hall' aka cafeteria.  The food was pretty delicious though!

Just Dance - Gonna be ok

A few months ago during one of my many insomniatic (is that a word?) moments, I decided to google and see if there were any dance studios in Seoul or Bundang.  As I expected it wasn't that simple, however, I did find a link to a girl's blog that mentioned a dance studio in Bundang.  It mentioned the name, EZ Dance Studio and it's location 'Ori Station, Exit 3, above the pizza hut'.  It was a Saturday morning and I decided to brave the elements (Korean Hangul, uncertainty about how to get home, the usual) and go seek out this elusive dance studio.   I found the pizza hut and proceeded to ascend the staircase, up, up, up, up.  Finally, I reached the roof (literally) and I felt like I had walked into a garden oasis.  The walls all around me were painted bright green and I walked through these doors out onto the roof that had a stone walkway with pebbles all around, an outdoor patio set, lots of plants and more green paint.  On the opposite side of the roof was the glass door to the studio.  I could see people dancing inside with hardwood floors and wall-to-wall mirrors...just like dance studios at home!!  I walked in, took off my shoes, and walked in.  I was instantly greated by a lady named Yoojin who is the studio manager.  Luckily she speaks a bit of English and she saw me staring at her like a deer in headlights and rushed me into her office. 

Once in her office I was like a kid in a candy store.  She was showing me the list of dance classes offered, showing me dance videos on the company website of styles they teach, etc.  I was so excited!!  It was extremely similar to the dance studios I went to back home and I was beyond myself happy.  I told her I would come back after payday and check out a class.

A few weeks later I returned with my friend Courtney, who I dragged along even though she's not a dancer, but she was a great sport.  We tried a hip hop class.  I left feeling exhilirated.  I hadn't been that happy since I came to Korea.  There's just something about dancing that gets me, it makes me feel like I can do anything.  So I decided to sign up for a month package and start going 3 times a week!
I had only been dancing at EZ for a few days when Yoojin asked me to join their dance performance.  I figured, what the hell do I have to lose?  So I joined Soonae's dance group, which was myself and 9 other girls performing to a Korean Pop song by the Wonder Girls called 'Be My Baby'.  I wasn't 100% thrilled about the cutesy KPOP song, but was in it for the story and the chance to perform on stage for the first time since high school!   We rehearsed for the next month and I felt pretty prepared.  We had a lot of late night rehearsals which were a bit exhausting, but was a great experience because there were only a few people that spoke English so most of the time I had no idea what was going on.  It's an interesting expereience to be in a room full of people who are talking, but you can't understand anything.  You get the chance to sit in silence with your thoughts.  I remember one night we were rehearsing till 1am and then someone had gone out and bought friend chicken for everyone.  Side Note - Fried chicken is eaten a lot in Korea.  There are fried chicken restaurants everywhere.  It's actually really good here, and I don't ever eat it back home so I think that's saying something.  Or maybe I just enjoy eating familiar things in Korea so they seem to taste better...I don't know.   It was so cool to just be sitting around the table eating friend chicken during the wee hours of the morning with all these Koreans who cared that I was there.  Pretty great feeling.

The day of the performance was a chilly Saturday morning.  I was picked up by a few of my dance buddies and we drove to the performance venue.  We had to get there pretty early to have a dress rehearsal on stage and get ready.  Rehearsal went well and I was dressed in my outfit, make-up on and I was feeling pumped.  Then it was about 20 minutes till show time and I went outside and saw my group of friends that had come to support me.  I had 10 friends from work/outside of work come and watch me, which was the coolest thing ever!  One of the best moments I've had in Korea, because I felt so special that I had only been in Korea for 2 1/2 months at this point, but all these people were willing to trek out and see me. 

Let the show begin!

This was the sign hanging above the stage.  My name was also put in the program!! I felt pretty special.

Getting ready backstage.  All done up in my Korean style dress, sparkly tights, make-up, etc.  And don't forget the Korean peace sign!

All of us hanging out during dress rehearsals.

This is my teacher and the choreographer of my dance, Soonae.  She's an amazing hip hop dancer. She doesn't speak any English, but she's still awesome and we have a great time.

One of the dance acts.  There was actually another foreign girl in this dance for only a few seconds.  I didn't get a chance to talk to her though as it was super hectic and crazy.

The Belly Dancers.  Not sure I would ever wear that outfit in public, but who am I to judge. 

The Korean teeny boppers.  These girls are all in my weekly dance class and they are so cute.  One of them always comes up to me and bows everytime she sees me at the dance studio.



These girls were extremely young and scantily clad.  It was like a scene from Toddlers and Tiaras.  They did a great job just should have been wearing more clothes and removed the pound of make-up on their faces.



This was a guest hip hop group.  They were phenomenal. 

Some of us after the show taking pics!! 

Our whole group and Soonae!

The entire group at the end taking pictures. 

So I can't get the video to upload and the Korean internet laws won't let me upload the video to youtube so I can give the link.  Soooooo if you want to see the video it's on my Facebook, or I can email it to you!
Overall one of the greatest memories I will take with me from Korea.  I have continued dancing since, and Yoojin mentioned to me they might do a summer performance and she wants me to be a part of it if that happens.  I love dancing!

Holidaze....

Halloween was over and it was time for the 'real' Holidays to commence, or at least the more family/friends oriented ones.  I wasn't quite sure how they would pan out in Korea and how I would handle them, but here it goes.

Thanksgiving in Korea

I really enjoyed Thanksgiving in Korea, because a big group of expats all got together and celebrated which felt really awesome!  We were able to order giant Turkey/Ham dinners from the army base that included all the traditional fixins'. 

One of the big tables of happy expats with turkey in their bellies.

Brian decided to be antisocial and be one with his plate of Thanksgiving deliciousness.

Friends and more friends!

More friends!  Nikki is the girl in the middle and it was because of her and her husband Luke who is in the army that we were able to get the Thanksgiving meals.

Dan and Niki two of my co-workers at Worwick.

More friends!

We had two big tables full of the turkeys, hams, side dishes, and dessert!!  With some football on in the background.  Totally American Thanksgiving!

Not a great picture, but just wanted to show you the aftermath of 40 expats attacking the food.  It was like we were starving and hadn't eaten in weeks.

Me and Mikey!

Courtney, Jin, Me, and Tammy.  The Ladies!

Me and Jin!  The Koreans don't celebrate Thanksgiving, obviously, but there were a few Koreans that joined in our festivities. 

Tammy and I after we devoured our food.

Kelly and Nikki.

Me and Joe.

Overall Thanksgiving was a success and I had a great time!
Christmas in Korea

Christmas in Korea has been a bit of a different story.  Unfortunately I don't have any pictures from my school's Christmas Play or any from Christmas, so I will just write about everything.

Christmas at Worwick - We put on a big Christmas production with all the kiddos for their parents.  It was quite the undertaking.  We started preparing about 2 months before the show date and it was one of the most stressful things I've ever been a part of.  It was definitely a huge relief when it was all over.  Basically every class had 10 minutes to either perform some Christmas songs or do a mini-Christmas play depending on how old the kids were.  My kids are 5 years old so we did Christmas songs.  Oh wow!!  Teaching English to 5 years old is a challenge, but trying to teacher them English songs with dance moves and making sure they stand in line correctly, etc is one of the hardest things I've ever done.  Luckily the Korean Teachers stepped in and helped out a lot and were able to talk to the kids in Korean for us so they understood better otherwise I'm not sure my kids could have got on stage.  Anyway after 2 painstaking months of practicing everyday until the kids were over it the show was finally here.

The show was put on at a nearby auditorium hall.  We are all pretty stressed out the day of because we hadn't been to the place before and we had to do a dress rehearsal with all the kids before the actual show which was a big cluster.  Also, I was asked two days prior to MC the event with my co-worker Zach, so on top of everything I was a bit nervous for that.  Zach and I wrote up a script that was pretty cheesy, but we figured it was good for parents.  Oh wait....more than half the audience can't speak English so then we realized it didn't matter what we said :)  Regardless, the show went off without a hitch and I had a great time MCing.  We were all so happy when it was finished that we went out and celebrated with a few beers after!! A job well done!

Now on to Christmas for me.  So most of you know but I've been struggling a lot with the Holidays here in Korea.  I didn't realize it would hit me so hard but it really has.  I miss all the great memories and traditions I've made over the past years with friends and family that it's been tough being here.  I've felt very lonely even though I have new friends, it's just not the same.  I cried myself to sleep a lot and am still struggling to make it through the New Year's as I write this blog now.  However, I realized how blessed I am because I do have amazing friends and family who sent me wonderful gifts to remind me of home and I know how much I'm missed and loved back home which has made this bearable.  Something I've realized while being here is sort of like that saying 'You don't know what you got till it's gone' or whatever that is.  I always loved everything about my home and my life back there, but didn't realize how lucky and spoiled I had been until I came to Korea.  I just pray these next 8 months go by quickly, don't worry I will enjoy them, but I'm ready to be back home!  Trust me, I know I'm going to look back on this and be so thankful I did this and I am because I've had some amazing experiences so far and not everyone can say they've done something like this in their lives, but I'm not gonna say it's been a cake walk.  I'm not as strong as I thought I was, but I guess that's part of this whole thing is learning about myself and what I want in my life.   Sorry if that was a lot of random thoughts, but I guess that's how I've been feeling is all jumbled up inside. 

For Christmas Eve I spent it with my friends in Korea and we went to a nice dinner and then to Traveler's Bar which was having a party for all the expats who didn't go anywhere for their vacation.  It was a fun night because there were so many expats that you didn't feel lonely or like you were the only one feeling this way. 

For New Year's a big group of us are planning to celebrate in Seoul which should be interesting.  Seoul is to Asia what New York is to America for New Years apparently, so we will see what unfolds from that.

All things touristy - in the freezing cold

So, you all probably remember the fiasco trying to meet up with my friend Eric from college the last time we tried to go see some big touristy attraction.  Neither of us had cell phones and we planned to meet somewhere but didn't end up finding eachother for over an hour and yeah...slight disaster.  Luckily, this time we both had cell phones (smart phones to be exact...pretty handy in this country) and were ready to see some sweet Korean stuff.  So we decided to head out to a part of Seoul called Insadong which nearby was Gyeongbok-Gung or Gyeongbok Palace.  After touring the palace, we also got the chance to check out the National Folklore Museum and National Palance Museum of Korea.  Not that interesting as we couldn't really decipher what anything was written in Korean, but still kind of cool to check out (and they were free!).   After, we went back into Insadong to find a traditional Korean Tea House.  We didn't really know where to go so we just started exploring everywhere and stumbled upon some back alleyway that opened up into this really cool garden outdoor seating area.  There we spotted a tea house and were pretty excited as it was absolutley freezing this day. 

History Lesson - Note this information is pretty much straight from my South Korea guidebook.  So take it for what you will, but I'm not that nerdy and awesome.

Gyeongbok Palace (Palace of Shining Happiness) - The largest and most complete of the Joseon Dynasty palaces.  Construction began on this palace in 1394, just two years after founding the Joseon Dynasty.  In its original form, it is said to have had about 500 buildings.  For the next 200 years the palace was the seat of government and the royal residence of Joseon Dynasty kings.  During the Hideyoshi Invasions the palace was burned, but not by the invading Japanese army, but by disgruntled palace slaves intent upon destroying the records of their servitude.  The palace was left abandoned until 1865 until its reconstruction was ordered after King Gojong ascended the throne at age 12.  Since then the palace as undergone reconstruction, destruction, etc.  At this point in time (2011) they are still reconstructing/refurbishing some of the major buildings. 

This was the entrance area to the palace.  The part in the picture is the main gate that leads into the city.  Directly behind is the gate that leads into the palace.



Here is the gate leading into the palace.



Another picture of the gate.  It was actually fairly crowded this day once we got inside.  That's Eric on the bottom right corner.  He doesn't really like pictures of himself...hahaha...gotcha.

This is right inside the first area of the palace.  I assume water once ran in this little moat thingy. (Yes I use very technical words)

Along the palace walls. 

That's me throwing up my gang signs...I mean peace signs :) Very Korean. 

It was really cool to see all the new modern buildings of downtown Seoul with the old palace walls right below them.  It's interesting how there are these extremely old historical places right in the middle of Seoul. 

Artwork inside one of the temples.

This was an awesome temple or pagoda that was right outside the palace and in front of the National Folklore Museum. However, they wouldn't let people go up into it. 

'Kimchi' - That's what you say instead of 'Cheese' in Korea.

There was this beautiful lake area in the back part of the palace. 



So pretty.....



Some of the trees still had their leaves. 

In the very back of Gyeongbok-gung is Cheongwadae or 'Blue Tile Mansion'.  Commonly referred to as the 'Blue House', this stone structure, designed partially in traditional Korean style, holds the office of the president of Korea.  Apparently blue roofs were once reserved for the use of kings and denotes authority.  I guess you can tour the Blue House, but you have to reserve in advance and yada yada.  Still cool to see though. 

When we were leaving, they were doing a 'Changing of the Guards' ceremony right in the main entrance.  I believe that's what it's called.  I'm so intrigued by how these people got this job.  Is it more like Disneyland employees or are they government employees?  I'm not sure.  Either way they didn't seem very happy.

This is walking down the street in Insadong.  This area is pretty cool and it's where you can find lots of good gifts and souvinirs. 

Tea is a big deal here. There's a whole school devoted to it.

Had to throw in this picture, because not only in Insadong but all over Korea I constantly walk by restaurants that have these giant water baths outside housing their guests' next meal.  Yum Yum Yum.

This was the table inside the Korean Tea House we found.  It had all sorts of random drawings, writings, etc, from people that had been there.  The whole vibe of the place was really warm and inviting and bohemian.

This was the outside seating area.  I'm not entirely sure how those people were sitting out there because it looks beautiful but it was ridiculous cold.

Our menu. Luckily there was English in it!! Hooray for English for the ignorant Americans who don't know Korean!!  The best part was that each tea had a description of its health benefits for you.  Example: Such and such tea - Will help detox your liver, rejuvinate your skin, and purify your blood. 

We chose Jujube Tea.  It looked more like a soup or hot chocolate and it tasted very nutty and savory.  Very interesting and not at all what we expected.  There was also bits of the fruit and pine nuts in the tea and some other food bits that we weren't entirely sure of. 

Me drinking tea.  Very artistic photo.

After some much needed warm tea we decided to head back into Seoul and figure out our way home.  We sort of got lost and ended up finding this stream that runs right in the middle of downtown Seoul.  It's pretty cool because on both sides of you are tall buildings and bustling cars flying by, but you can escape below into this garden stream area thats almost peaceful and tranquil.  The stream is called Cheonggyecheon Stream and it stretches for about 5.84km.  We decided to go down and walk along the stream for a bit seeing as we had no time schedule and were lost anyway, might as well enjoy what we found.  To our amusement, there was a random 'art' festival going on litereally IN the stream.  All along the path physically in the water were extremely random art displays. 

No joke.  Tables of art displays in the rushing water.  Wouldn't want to be that guy that has to set this up.

Not sure what this is.

View of the buildings above the stream.

Another art display, not sure what it is.

This one looked kind of cool.  Almost Chinese or something.

More art.

This was supposed to be lanterns hanging in the trees to symbolize the lantern festivals that go on all the time.  I've yet to see one, but hopefully will do so before my time is up.

Then they got into art displays for other countries.  Guess what this is??  Amuurica!!

A terribly done Leaning Tower of Piza...must hate the Italians.

Other Asian countries.



This picture is a bit hard to read but it talks about Nemo from the movie Finding Nemo.  Pretty much glorifies Nemo into the best fish of all time.



And there he is ladies and gentlemen...Nemo..the fish that needed one of the largest art displays!! Yay!

Peroro. I've mentioned him before. The Korean cartoon character that everyone is obsessed with.  This picture is great though because of the old lady with her permed hair.  Very typical Korean woman...or ajumma as they are called. 

Then there was of course Batman!!

And to finish it all off...Superman.  Very Korean if I do say so myself.

All in all a very cold, but successful touristy day.  We ended the day coming back to my hometown of Bundang and going to Open Mic night at Traveler's Bar, the local expat sports bar.  It was pretty cool for Eric I think because where he lives there isn't a whole lot of foreigners, so I think it was nice for him to meet other foreigners and be in that environment.